This Japanese pizza commercial starts out light and zippy, then descends into abandonment and tears.
The All-American pizza bagel. "Now, you can have pizza in the morning!" Clearly, these people never went to college.
An even worse idea: A bagel ornament that cannot possibly be hung on the tree. Don't forget the bagel varnish!
We conclude with David Sedaris delivering pizza and hopelessness.
Meanwhile on 2nd Street...
3 minutes ago