This is not your grandmother's pasta.
Bored with the usual spaghetti? Think: crunchy!
Swap out spaghetti for celery sticks. Substitute garlic with library paste.
When I saw that the NY Times had caved in on the use of "swap out" in the same issue in which they used "flaunt" instead of "flout," I knew that the world was going to hell in an even faster handbasket than I had thought possible. "Substitute with" is equally awful. There's worse, though.
Second-most annoying is the breathless, silly "Think." Thirsty? Think: Water! Hungry? Think: Food! Whoever came up with that should be allowed to read nothing but Dick and Jane for the rest of her (and I'll bet my last clove of garlic that it's a her, too) life, because that is the intellectual level of this inane phrase.
And, lastly, "This is not your hoary old ancestor's _____." Yes, everything that came before was bad. Filled with glass shards. Dusty. Raw. I even learned from a breathlessVictoria Blashford-Snell (yes, everything in Wodehouse is absolutely true), via the Independent, that ten years ago no one had heard of canapes. I guess I'm going to have to toss my 1940 edition of James' Beard's H'ors d'Oeuvres and Canapes right out the window and into a puddle.